WHO AM I

It has been awhile since I have posted, but I try to only post when I feel God laying something on my heart. I have titled this post, “WHO AM I.”  I have just thought lately who is Mollie Queen Chessor. I was born on September 18, 1982.  I am now a mother, wife, teacher, friend, and 30 years old. Am I more than these things? Who AM I in Christ; I guess should be the ultimate question.  Who do I let influence me, who do I let the world tell me I am, and what experiences do I let effect who I am and become? One thing is for sure, I am a child of God because I was a sinner saved by his ultimate and unconditional grace.

I am not always good at making metaphoric comparison, but I went to the beach last summer.  I fell while I was out there, and it left a pretty big scar on my knee.  I was looking at that scar the other day, and thought about how we all have scars in our lives that never go away.  Some are minor, and some are major.  I also thought about how I fell.  My foot slipped on the wet concrete, and I had Ellie Kate in my arms.  I tried my hardest to keep from falling, but I could not stop the fall.  I did try to keep Ellie Kate from being harmed.  She was okay, and I did hurt my knee.  But I say all this because we try to be in control of our lives, but sometimes things that happen to us are out of our control. We cry to God and say why have you forsaken us? But God has promised to never leave or forsakes us.  Do we let these minor or major scars control our lives and live in the past and not the present?  Do we let them make us who we are?  Well, God is there to protect us and help mold us into the person he wants us to be.  He doesn’t just try to protect us; he does protect us.  Just like how we try to protect our own children from harm. Our love and care for our children is great, but can you just imagine how much more our Heavenly Father loves and cares for us.

We all have had people or events in our life that have left a deep scar that we will never forget.  I was listening to a bible devotion the other day and the lady said, “ Do you live presently with God as your present?  Or do you live your life saying, God  I will trust you IF you will do this.  If you had taken this away from me, then I would believe and trust you more. IF the Lord was there with me, then why did this happen to me?”  I have to be honest with myself and say I have said these things before and even asked God how he could let horrible things happen to people.  Do we only validate God's present only because wonderful things are going on?  We should be present in God’s present, not ours.   

All the experiences we go through do effect us, but we should let it help us grow and make us stronger in the Lord. I have been doing a monthly bible study with a group of women, and we have studied these 5 benefits of God. These 5 benefits of God are what I tried to find and identify myself with.

1.Who Am I when I Know and believe God

2. Who Am I when I Glorify God

3. Who Am I when I find Satisfaction in God

4. Who Am I when I Experience Peace with God

5.  Who Am I when I Enjoy God’s Presence

I think that number 3, Being Satisfied in God, was the point that hit home with me.  I have learned to try and be satisfied with my circumstances.  That is not to say I am always happy about them, but happiness is temporary, but joy in the Lord is based on my relationship with him.  I truly try to Fully Rely On God now.  I am human; so I am not always successful and have moments where I forget God is in control, but I try to go back in those moments and remind myself that he is my heavenly father who has my best interest in mind.  I leave you with this thought from Beth Moore, “You are not defined by anything that happened to you or anything you have done.  You are defined by WHO YOU ARE IN CHRIST. You are God’s beloved child.  He has seen any wrong done to you, and he will uphold your cause.”

Counting Blessings....

 I have not posted anything in a while on my blog.  I have been trying to decide what to write for a while.  I just recently turned 30, and I thought it would be really hard to say that I am thirty, but actually, it has not been that hard at all. However, I guess the older you get you see all the little and big blessings that you have.   You realize how unfair and unkind the world really is too.  I have to admit I have not been counting my blessings like I should have lately.  Sometimes the world and its unfairness creep in and take over our security in things and people.  Just when you think YOU have things under control, the Lord say, “Hey, I am in control not you.”  The Lord is where we should fine our hope and security, not in things or people.  Why is it we know this, but we doubt our faith in the lord and put our trust in other things but God?  I suppose it is because we have this spiritual nature trying to resist our fleshly nature.  Sometimes we sit back and say why me, why me. This is a selfish way of thinking I guess.  Jesus could have said why me, why me and not have died for our sins.  Thank goodness he did not do that.  

 At church the other day, the preacher asked, “What is your darkest day or days?”  Is it that someone has betrayed you, what you believe in has deceived you, relationships you care about and invest your time hurt you, or when things you depend on for security fails you?  We all have had something like this to happen to us.   I try and think about these things and realize that my darkest days are wonderful days to someone else in the world.  I have many blessing to so be so thankful for as you will see when you read my blessings listed below.  I mean I live in America; I should be thankful everyday. After I really think about the things we get upset about, we really have no right to be upset.  The disciples even felt dark days after Jesus die on the cross; they did not believe He was going to rise in three days.  This gives me comfort because if the disciples had “little faith” at times, I am a normal  human being for having moments of ”little faith.”  I think the difference is if we choose to stay in those moments and not grow from them.

 I heard this song, “Have faith in God.”  This comes from Mark 11:22.  I thought to myself what a simple phrase, but it is so true all we are called to do is have faith in God and nothing else.  He did not say have faith and you have to have strength to get through your troubles; He said, “Have faith in me, and I will take care of you and ALL your troubles. I will NEVER leave you or FORSAKE you.”  I have also been watching Dr. David Jeremiah, and he has a new book called God Loves You.  His motto is God loves you; he always has, and he always will.  I by no means have everything in my life under control, and I let the world creep in sometimes and can cause me to lose my security in Jesus and let the things of the world become my security.  That is why I just try to remind myself of the things I have mentioned above.  So I have started to try and really stop and be thankful for the really TINY and big things in life to help me realize the things I worry about or get upset about really do not matter as much as I think they do.  Some of my blessings may seem small to some people, but I think we take things for granted from day to day. Trying to Fully Rely on God ( FROG) each and everyday.

My list of abundant blessings to be thankful for.

#1#1#1 Jesus has saved me from utter darkness and loves me and will NEVER leave or forsake me.

Loving family

Loving Husband

Great, wonderful, caring, godly and giving mother

Caring and godly father

Wonderful, sweet, adorable 2 year old daughter that brings joy and laughter to life

A sweet tender hug around the neck from Ellie Kate.

2 loving and caring sisters

Nice and comfortable home and car

Freedom to worship where I want

Wonderful friends

The great job of changing and helping children grow and learn new things.

A wonderful church family

Living in the USA

Good Health

Always have food to eat

Clean water to drink

Cozy comfortable bed to sleep in at night

A new day to live each day for God’s purpose.

Two wonderful grandmothers who are still alive and well

***This one may seem odd, but I have to try and be thankful for my struggles in life because they ultimately bring me closer to God and make me a better person.

The Whole World in His Hands…..

I am titling this blog entry “The Whole World in His Hands” because I have been singing this song to Ellie Kate the past month or two.  She loves it, and when she wants me to sing it, she says,  “Whole Worrrrd .“  Then we have to go through the whole family when we sing it. I just got to thinking about how we teach these little songs to our children, and they grow up believing and trusting that God loves them and holds them in his hands.  As adults, the world becomes no longer friendly and fun because of all the experience we have.  Our view of God holding us in his hands becomes tainted.  It is so easy as a child to believe this. We as adults truly believe God will save us from our sins, and we will get to spend eternity with Him in Heaven, but we doubt him daily and don’t trust him to get us through our struggles.  How is it that we trust him to save us from that awful place at the end of our life, but we don’t trust him with this life on Earth? 

This past week I started back to work as a teacher.  Every year even when I was a kid, teenager, or college student, I always got this anxious feeling that makes me feel sick and nervous because I am anticipating the year to come I guess.  This year I have not felt quite like that.  I always worry, “Am I going to be good enough for my students, my family, and am I going to live up to the expectations of others.”   I have had a sense of peace about it all.   I am learning that God is truly in control of my life.  The only expectation that I should feel that I need to live up to is my “Heavenly Fathers.” If I am in his will then how can I go wrong.  You know I am “Being Held in His Hands” each and every moment of my life.  I am trying to let go of all the worrying.  Like I mention above, I worried a lot about being a good teacher, mother, friend, and Christian. I am truly at peace about this. Now do I still have moments yes, I do, but when I do I just fall back to God’s word and say to myself.  “God will never leave me or forsake me.”

One of my devotions by Kelley Minter this week asked this question.  What lies do you believe about yourself that are not true?  Well, I answered all the things that I listed about, not being a good mother, teacher, friend, and Christian.  The world wants you to feel this way and so do your enemies.  In Nehemiah 6:1-4, Nehemiah’s enemies use fear and lies to try and cause Nehemiah to lose focus on rebuilding the wall around Jerusalem.  Sandballat sent out spies to tell Nehemiah to take refuge in the temple because people were coming to kill him.  Well, Nehemiah knew this person was an imposter because God’s people would never tell anyone to hide in the temple. You could die if you came in to the holy of holies unprepared (Numbers 18:7). Only the priests were allowed in the temple.  So people or your enemies will try to use fear and lies to get you off track.  Remember if you are in God’s word trusting in him, he will give you the signs of an imposter or help you realize the lies of the world.

So I hope to be brave and bold for Jesus instead of a worrier and complainer.   Our lesson in church on Sunday was about Bartimaeus the blind man.  He asked God to give him his sight.  He did not say can you, will you, he said, “I want to receive my sight.”  Others were telling him to be QUIET, but he cried out to Jesus all the more and said, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”   I hope to stand up above the rest and not be quiet, but be bold in the Lord like Bartimaeus. I hope all this makes sense because I had a lot I wanted to say.  I just pray someone is blessed today.   When the world says YOU CAN’T, the Lord says, “YES YOU CAN!” I guess I pray that God gives me child like faith, and that I trust that he will hold me in his hands everyday considering that HE HAS THE WHOLE WORLD IN HIS HANDS.

A Reason to Write

I just want to take the time to introduce myself first. I am 29, you might as well say 30 lol, and I am the mother of a 2 year old.  Yeah, that should explain it all right there.  I have been married for 7 years to Matthew Chessor, and I have been in the teaching profession for about 7 years.  I will go a head and apologize up front for any typing errors they may occur.  I will probably need an editor for this blog. (LOL)  I am not very good at editing things. Oh, did I mention that I am not very good at writing either. So I never thought that I would be writing something for people to read, but when God lays something on your heart, you should listen and follow him.  So why try to write a blog.  Well, here is why.....

I had a baby 2 years ago and this was a life changing experience as many of you mothers have experienced.  I experienced what they call post-partum for about 6 months of the 1st year of my daughter’s life.  This was a very trying time for me.  I think if I had maybe blogged about it back then, I would have been able to help others who were going through the same thing.  During this time, I had taken off a year of work to be with my child. So boy was I mad at myself because I had this time with my daughter but was very depressed. Now looking back, God knew that I was going to need a year of recovery from this.  So he prepared that time for me to heal through his strength and timing and trusting him.

Then, after that year, I decided to go back to the classroom.  Boy that was a change!  Those of you who know anything about education, it never stays the same.  I mean never.  This is a good thing I guess.  That way we don't get to complacent.  I do sometimes just wish they would give us some time to get use to the something for a while before changing it again.  Anyways,   I had a hard time just adjusting to new standards, and leaving my sweet 1 year old that I had grown attached too. I know many of you mothers feel guilty for leaving your children to go out and work. Well, I had this feeling on top of trying to get use to working again. Needless to say,   I think God was teaching me all year to trust him.  I mean not just trust or to just say that I trust him.  I mean really not WORRY AND TRUST HIM!  That is a huge thing for me.  I have always worried about thing and should not.  So I have just been trying to turn my worries  over to the Lord and Fully Rely on God for all my answers.  So that means I have to let go of worrying.  I still have days that I worry about things, but I feel that because of these valleys the past two years, I have grown in this area.  I am by no means where I need to be, but I am better that I was before.

I was listening to a preacher on the radio the other day and he said that in life we should not try to have success, but that we should be more concerned about the significance in our life.  He said that worldly success will not build up treasures in heaven, but significance will build of treasures and rewards in heaven.  That is my new memo. My ultimate goal is to try and please the Lord and share his word in my everyday life.  I want to be significant in him not successful in the world.  God will give me what the world can’t.  The world will leave you high and dry, but God will never leave or forsake you. So put your so call success in the Lord with significance.     

So this is why I am writing a blog.  I want to help people that may have problems or difficult situations.  Even if it just lifts someone else  up, and  they find comfort knowing that some maybe dealing with the same issues. So, I  may not be good a this whole blog thing, but I just plan to share what is on my heart, my prayers, and my new insights on trusting god.  I may post once a week, once a month,  or just when ever I feel God put something on my heart to share. I have wanted to do this for a long time now, but fear people might think this is silly or weird, but I feel that God has been wanting me to do something to help or encourage other people. People have also encouraged me to do this so here it is.   I do not want myself to get in the way.  I want this to totally be about his work.  We as humans get caught up with our own praise and rewards and do things for selfish reasons.  So I pray that God helps gets the glory for all I do and say. And like I said above, my goal in life is to keep Fully Relying on God more and more each day.

A side note:  I titled this blog FROG because as a teacher and mother of a little girl, I have always like things with little cute frog like characters on it.  So, why not use the word FROG which can stand for Fully Rely on God.